MARRIAGE WITHOUT LOVE
In an ideal marriage, one man unites with one woman to become a united entity – what otherwise may be described as “one flesh” in biblical parlance. Marriage may be described as a union – a union of two hearts that beat as one.
The marriage journey begins when a man sets sail to search and find his missing rib, his better half – when a man sets out to search and find love. Finding love means everything to the man who wishes to live “happily ever after” with the love of his life.
Soon, the marriage bell rings to announce a successful love expedition and the happy man takes the love he found or stumbled upon to the alter and ties the nupitial knot which is expected to seal the bliss that would follow.
A life of love ensues with unusual escapades and a romantic experience that could be described as ecstatic.
But sadly, in a twist, the anticipated bliss becomes shortlived or outrightly elusive as the couple relegates love to the background while chasing other interests and concerns. It could be money that comes in-between them. It could be a third party or some other human elements. It could be disloyalty or infidelity.
In the long run, the woman may quest or thirst for love but find that the man is too preoccupied to care. The man on the other hand may need attention but discover that the woman is caught up in a distraction and wouldn’t even as much as take cognisance. If anything, she is more interested in discovering new interests and other sources of joy just as much as the man.
The “Fantasy Island” which they sought, where they hope to realise their love dreams, suddenly begins to crumble on their faces. Then, they wake up to a “House of commotion” where the man and the woman, with no love – lost, suddenly become cat and dog. Rather than love each other, the couple begins to fight.
This puts a knife in the bond that holds them together and the love relationship fails. Then, their lives as individuals may return even while cohabiting or while remaining married. It is now marriage without love. Their home may break in the process and over time. All because love was relegated to the background.
Love is the basis for the togetherness, companionship and partnership in marriage. Marriage can be energy or synergy provided that it is founded on love. Without love, there can neither be unity nor trust in marriage. Ideally, a couple in marriage are expected to be bonded in love and inseparable.
This is only possible for as long as the marriage is anchored on love. A couple in love can trust each other even with their lives. In the Songs of Solomon, it is stated that: “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” In describing the power of love which bonds parties in marriage, Solomon stated that “love is as strong as death.” It is the sure anchor that holds marriage and unite couples and family in perfect harmony.
Couples in marriage, demand unfailing love from each other. They demand commitment, loyalty and faithfulness. Parties in marriage have a duty to love each other both deeply and completely. Loving a spouse deeply, captivates the heart of the other party with the power of love. In marriage, each party is expected to be patient with the other, to forbear with one another. They are to make each other warm, encourage and comfort each other and help each other to rise should any of them fall. They are to keep each other company to avoid loneliness. Except the expectations are realized, love remains elusive.
Written by:
Christian Enebe
(Educator/Mentor)
Site Title 